Must love dogs. No, really.

“The Friend” is a testament to grief, loneliness and the bonds beyond traditional romance. All of the above hinges on a Great Dane that might be our finest animal actor, the Laurence Olivier of the canine set.

If you can’t stand sharing space with a four-footed beast, “The Friend” won’t land as required. If a dog ever became an integral part of your family, you’ll sit and stay for this “Friend.”

httpv://http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PpgLdI–F9M

Naomi Watts stars as Iris, a novelist suffering from writer’s block and, more importantly, the sudden death of a close friend.

Can we have a moratorium on New York-based stories centered around writers, let alone scribes suffering from writer’s block?

End of rant.

The lost “friend” is Walter (Bill Murray), a thrice-married writer who had beautiful women orbiting his larger-than-life persona.

Walter doesn’t get much screen time – his death happens early in the film – but it helps immeasurably that Murray plays him. Who else but the “Ghostbusters” alum could engender such fierce loyalty in wives, ex-wives, former lovers and, most of all, Iris?

He did leave Iris with a parting gift, of sorts. It’s Apollo, a spotted Great Dane who Walter insisted live with her if something ever happened to him.

Iris lives in a rent-controlled apartment that doesn’t allow dogs. Naturally, she’s less than thrilled to learn about Walter’s dying wish. And, to be fair, Apollo takes up a LOT of room.

Still, she’s a dutiful friend so she accepts this gargantuan roommate. It’s the start of an unlikely journey, one that finds Iris questioning her old friend, her future and whether she can ever get Apollo off her bed.

He. Will. Not. Budge.

Naomi Watts sets up the story of an unexpected bond between a woman and a dog in her new film The Friend! #FallonTonight pic.twitter.com/VwYdUn5o9z

— The Tonight Show (@FallonTonight) March 26, 2025

“The Friend” isn’t filled with “Beethoven”-style yuks or cutesy reaction shots. It’s grounded from start to finish, a gentle essay touching on themes that matter to the over-50 set. Death. Loneliness. Regret.

Kibble.

Apollo is a sight to behold, but his gentle face conveys more emotion than you expect. Directors Scott McGehee and Stacey Battat wring the most out of the dog’s fascinating mug. His body language does the rest, as only dogs can.

How many “actors” can hang with a pro like Watts?

She’s saddled with a difficult task, beyond co-starring with a chronic scene-stealer. She’s a lost soul who clings to her friend in ways that seem Abbie-Normal, to paraphrase “Young Frankenstein.”

On the surface, Walter was a piece of work. He seemed self-absorbed and oblivious to his effect on those around him.

A late revelation about his ties to Iris is stomach curdling. Yet he commanded respect, nay love, in profound ways.

The dramatic elements in “The Friend” rarely rise above a simmer. Iris may lose her apartment if she can’t find a home for Apollo, but the screenplay isn’t as worried about that as she should be. Her ties to one of Walter’s exes (Carla Gugino, solid as ever) offer more texture but nothing thematically formidable.

Less, as is often the case, is more.

“The Friend” is a subdued tale dependent on Watts’ star power, Murray’s appeal and the power dogs have on our lives. And maybe even our souls.

One of the movie’s final shots says it all. If it doesn’t melt your heart, consider yourself a “cat person.”

HiT or Miss: Naomi Watts anchors “The Friend,” a gentle ode to the healing power of Man’s Best Friend.

The post ‘The Friend’ Finds Salvation in a Great Dane’s Soul appeared first on Hollywood in Toto.

You’d expect a film focused on Israeli hostages to take sides in the Middle East conflict.

“Torn” does, to a degree.

It’s also sympathetic to those who see posters of the kidnapped civilians as propaganda.

To a degree.

Truth matters, and it’s hard sympathizing with those eager to call for violence, intimidation and outright bigotry. It’s to “Torn’s” credit that the filmmakers broaden the story’s scope. They also couldn’t deny reality.

Many people tearing down those heart-tugging posters have hate in their hearts.

The documentary introduces us to two pro-Israeli protesters who leaned on street art following October 7. They created posters of kidnapped civilians, akin to old-school milk cartoons featuring the portraits of missing children.

Except some of the kidnapped souls were infants.

Their simple act of defiance started out small. They initially wondered if they had misjudged the moment. Within days, social media spread the message. Hundreds, maybe thousands, joined their cause across the globe.

The Big Apple became Ground Zero for the poster movement.

Suddenly, you couldn’t go far without seeing their handiwork. And it didn’t take long for pro-Palestinian forces to declare war on their efforts.

RELATED: CRITICS IGNORE ‘SCREAMS BEFORE SILENCE’

“Torn” examines that seemingly unthinkable reaction. What could have been a jeremiad against anyone who did just that becomes a complicated look at protest in the 21st century.

Yes, we see thuggish souls ripping down posters and cursing anyone recording their actions. Many wear masks and shout anti-Semitic curses.

Others decry how little attention is paid to Palestinians in harm’s way. The latter point hits home in “Torn.” Some of the most ardent pro-Israeli voices in the film are willing to listen.

So is director Nim Shapira, who refuses to ignore the other side of the argument. Shapira doesn’t take the partisan bait, either. He keeps U.S. politics mostly out of the frame.

A few exceptions are noteworthy.

We see former Biden spokesperson Karine Jean-Pierre refuse to condemn those tearing down the hostage posters. And, twice, we see President Donald Trump in connection with pro-Israeli measures.

The discipline is impressive given how the two parties have reacted to both October 7 and its aftermath. The team behind “Torn,” much like the recent “October 8,” avoids political infighting.

We meet people connected to the hostages as well as Jewish intellectuals who share provocative takes on the subject. Some argue that to “cancel” those who tear down posters only restricts public debate.

Others are critical of Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu.

Some personal tales prove powerful beyond words. A Jewish shopowner shares her attempts to keep the posters outside of her jewelry story intact. Day after day, vandals tear them down, until a confrontation with pro-Palestinian protesters turns violent.

What are the odds?

Her anger and, later, sense of defeat speaks to how far the Big Apple has fallen.

Shapira’s camera can only provide so much balance. The number of pro-Palestinian forces resorting to unfettered bigotry and violence speaks volumes.

The documentary can’t help but let the truth have the final say.

“Torn” is handsomely produced and never devolves into groupthink. It’s also a necessary part of a conversation that should be happening stateside and beyond.

HiT or Miss: “Torn” delivers a sobering look at a topic many would assume offers black-and-white answers.

The post Timely ‘Torn’ Sheds New Perspective on Shocking Protests appeared first on Hollywood in Toto.

Jason Statham is a throwback movie star.

Icons like John Wayne knew what fans expected of them and kept delivering film after film. Today, comic actors yearn to do dramatic work and serious stars stretch for comedies.

Statham isn’t doing Shakespeare anytime soon, nor is he eager to reinvent himself. He delivers bone-crunching action on demand, from last year’s “Beekeeper” to his latest, “A Working Man.” 

The action yarn is meatier than previous Statham affairs. Just when you think the story will offer new layers to his brand he settles for standard-issue mayhem. That’s frustrating, but let’s hope Statham’s intensity never goes out of style.

The action film, based on Chuck Dixon’s long-running Levon Cade series, casts Statham as a man who can’t escape his past. His soft-spoken character once broke bones as a former Royal Guard warrior. Now, he’s content to work construction for a family-owned business.

Simple. Clean. A dearth of dead bodies en route to work.

He’s paid a stiff price for his killing ways, like losing custody of his adorable daughter Merry (Isla Gie). He hopes life as, wait for it, a “working man” will let her back into his life. 

That plan ends when his boss’ adult daughter Jenny (Arianna Rivas) goes missing. The police appear helpless or hapless – take your pick. Levon owes everything to his employer (a barely used Michael Peña), a virtual second family to him.

So Levon puts down his construction helmet and goes to work, the kind of work that brings the pain. Yes, there will be Russian gangsters, sex trafficking and more.

You don’t have to read the credits to sense something totally ’80s about “A Working Man.” Levon can take on a battalion of armed-to-the-teeth baddies and emerge triumphant.

Remember that Reagan-era warrior John Rambo?

Yes, Sylvester Stallone co-wrote “A Working Man,” and the icon’s knack for loner heroes dominates the frame. Add director David Ayer, who just worked with Statham on “The Beekeeper” and doesn’t have a fussy bone in his body.

They’re a perfect match for the material.

Levon is endlessly patient in his pursuit of young Jenny. He’s part detective, part bloodhound, and he’s never intimidated wherever he ends up.

That’s part of Statham’s appeal. The rest? He’s 57 but moves like a 30-year-old, refusing to age in a genre that often pummels older stars. Just ask Daniel Craig, Liam Neeson and Keanu Reeves, all of whom have asked the inevitable question.

Am I getting too old for this [bleep]?

For Statham, the answer remains, “not even close.”

Ayer understands Statham’s appeal and what audiences crave from his handiwork. Yes, the action is intense and satisfying, but in the quieter moments, the actor’s empathy shines through. We saw that in “The Beekeeper” when his hero avenged a senior citizen bilked out of her life savings.

Here, he’s a doting dad who desperately wants to leave his killing ways behind. Life has other ideas, and that’s good news … at least for us.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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The film’s colorful villains punch up the story, but they also clash with the grittier elements on display. Statham’s Levon Cade isn’t a superhero, even if he can dispatch a small army at will. He’s a hand-to-hand combat kind of guy, and that skill is never pretty.

Some discordant elements spoil the fun.

Why introduce a live wire like the blind but resourceful Gunny (David Harbour) if you’re not going to give him more screen time? Perhaps the film’s franchise potential offers an unspoken answer.

The screenplay downplays the sex trafficking angle, reducing some of the dramatic stakes.

It’s also frustrating to consider how “A Working Man” might have tweaked the Statham formula. Levon craves a normal life after years of bloodshed, but circumstances drew him back into the fray.

What if he missed all that death and destruction on an instinctual level?

Statham is a good enough actor to suggest that duality. “A Working Man” is too busy following the star’s bulletproof brand to consider those layers. Statham is here to punch the clock, break some bones and prep for his next action assignment.

No complaints there.

HiT or Miss: “A Working Man” delivers mostly what Jason Statham fans expect, but it misses the chance to dig deeper into his screen persona.

The post ‘A Working Man’ Brings ’80s Heroism Back to Big Screen appeared first on Hollywood in Toto.

We expect a lot from Mel Gibson when he steps behind the camera.

Blame “Hacksaw Ridge,” “Apocalypto” and “The Passion of the Christ.” Heck, the auteur’s debut, 1993’s “The Man Without a Face” deserves applause, too.

So when “Flight Risk” hit theaters earlier this year critics were less than overwhelmed. The project, on the surface, is beneath Gibson’s talents. It’s a genre romp that wraps in 90 minutes and features subplots best served in a B-movie setting.

Methinks they missed the point.

“Flight Risk,” on VOD platforms and arriving on 4K UHD (+ Blu-ray + Digital) Combo Pack SteelBook®, Blu-ray and DVD on April 1, is a palate cleanser for Gibson … and us.

He’s gearing up to shoot “The Passion of the Christ” sequel next, so this must have been an artistic warmup for that audacious task. Audiences, in turn, get a perfect Saturday night title. “Flight Risk” grabs you by the scruff of the neck and hangs on until the end credits start.

Gibson didn’t tax himself with the project, but it also benefited from his populist DNA. He knows how to stage the pulpy elements, and he’s aided by a small but mighty cast.

Michelle Dockery stars as Madolyn, a troubled FBI agent tasked with shepherding a star witness to trial. She located sad-sack Winston (Topher Grace) in a rundown Alaska motel. Now, the two must fly to Anchorage and, later, Seattle to make sure he can squeal on his boss.

Easy peasy, right?

It doesn’t help that the plane’s pilot, Daryl (Mark Wahlberg) is too chatty for his own good. He also has something to hide, turning this seemingly benign flight into a fight for survival.

OK, the trailer gives away Daryl’s intentions, but it’s still fun to see Good Guy Wahlberg play against type.

More, please.

Did critics give “Flight Risk” a harder time due to Gibson’s off-screen woes? Or, did they expect a prestige picture from him and found the film’s grindhouse veneer off-putting? It’s impossible to say, but “Flight Risk” is too much fun to deny in any scenario.

(This teaser video should have let everyone know what to expect…)

It’s a battle of wits in the sky, as Madolyn uses all of her resources to keep Winston alive and Daryl at bay. The film unwisely introduces a larger element to the story, a potential leak within the FBI that led to Madolyn’s plight. 

That’s never given the depth it deserves. Why not jettison the angle and stick with the basics? Three people. One gun. A plane that may or may not have someone to land it.

That’s more than enough, assuming you can swallow a few gaps in logic.

Grace could do his role in his sleep, but he injects Winston with a humanity we don’t see coming. Meanwhile, Dockery’s character couldn’t be less of a Mary Sue. She’s a brave, resourceful heroine who still strikes us as  vulnerable.

Give her an action franchise, stat.

RELATED: ANOTHER TAKE ON ‘FLIGHT RISK’

The script won’t win any awards, but it’s efficient and rarely makes us wince. That’s more than some thrillers can boast. Have you seen Anthony Mackie’s “Elevation?” Yikes.

The sole Blu-ray extra, “Risk Management: Making ‘Flight Risk,'” offers an eight-minute glimpse at the production. Screenwriter Jared Rosenberg shares how the pandemic influenced the film’s themes, while we learn the thriller took just 22 days to shoot.

The featurette may be brief, but it captures how many of the shots came to be. The plane cabin looks as small as advertised on set, forcing an intimacy on both cast and crew. Plus, we see how green screens and multiple cameras pulled off the finished product.

Or, as the Oscar-winning director explained, “You gotta go in there and MacGyver the whole thing.”

The post ‘Flight Risk’ Deserves a Second Chance appeared first on Hollywood in Toto.

Jeannot Szwarc’s “Somewhere in Time” (1980) has always maintained this constant presence in my life, mostly because it’s the only movie that could, without fail, make my mother cry.

In fact, even mentioning the film to her casually does the trick. I used to tease my mom endlessly about this movie. Now, I’m no longer immune to it. In fact, I’m a fan, though, like Christopher Reeve’s main character, it took me many years.

“Somewhere in Time” begins in 1972, where Reeve stars Richard Collier, a playwright who is elated by the success of the opening night of his latest production. In walks an elderly woman who is immediately drawn to Richard.

She goes right up to him and says, “Come back to me.” It’s quite the opener.

Years later, Richard takes a trip to the Grand Hotel, located at Mackinac Island in Michigan, a real place (more on that later). While researching a work in progress, he comes across the photograph of a gorgeous, long-deceased woman, who he learns was once Elise McKenna.

Elise was a celebrated stage actress in the early 20th century and Richard can’t stop staring endlessly at her framed photo in the Grand Hotel Museum.

We get it: Elise is played by a luminous Jane Seymour.

Richard’s studious research gives way to an all-out obsession. A chance conversation on the possibility of time travel, as well as some nifty occurrences to support the theory, suggests the old woman at the beginning of the film was no mere groupie.

Using painstaking hypnosis, Richard is able to travel back in time and encounter Elise before the fateful photograph was taken (a wonderful, telling moment). Richard has two very real problems: in order to keep himself back in time, he cannot think of anything contemporary, and he is third wheel to Elise’s jealous, controlling manager (a commanding Christopher Plummer).

Reeve, looking young and beautiful (he made this right after his initial “Superman” duty) is the main reason why this hokey, illogical love story maintains its grip. Another big reason is John Barry’s score – even before it gets to its famous theme, Barry’s composition is rapturous.

There are more shots of Reeve staring at Seymour’s portrait than the film knows what to do with, but Barry’s score, which does a lot of dramatic heavy lifting, keeps Swarzoc’s film feeling sincere instead of unintentionally funny.

“Somewhere in Time” has it both ways – it’s a cautionary tale about being terminally enamored by the past but also a wish-fulfillment fantasy about how Collier gradually realizes that time was always going to bring him together with the love of his life.

Szwarc’s film is slow but sweet and not only maximizes Barry’s contribution but Rachmaninoff’s “Rhapsody on a Theme of Paganini.” The film is such a pleasure to listen to.

This is a sweet, earnest and lovely film. The whole thing is simple and uncomplicated in its goals. It’s also among the looniest films to ever depict a concept of time travel. Richard Matheson’s screenplay is based on his 1975 novel, “Bid Time Return.”

The emotion of the film is easy to connect with, while the sci-fi is featherweight at best.

A shot of Reeve’s face reflected on Seymour’s portrait is key here. It’s a lovely metaphor visually (our minds connect us profoundly with those who are gone) but ridiculous and half-baked on a literal level. Remember, Richard is using a tape recorder and repetitious phrases to go back in time.

By comparison, a plutonium-fueled sports car makes far more sense.

Richard isn’t using time travel to stop world wars from occurring, prevent human suffering, nor invest in future technology. No, he wants to keep staring at Jane Seymour.

Anyone who grew up watching “Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman” can relate. For everyone else, you’re probably too cynical for this movie.

John Barry’s score is as lovely as one remembers but it also counters the silliness. When we keep cutting to yet another scene of Reeve gazing at Seymour’s portrait, the music swells and informs us that this is meant to be romantic longing, not remotely creepy.

“Somewhere in Time” feels like it should be longer by at least 10 minutes. There’s no follow-up with Plummer’s character in the third act, nor much reflection of how the present is impacted by the past, aside from what we’ve already learned from the first act.

If there’s a major factor as to why this weepy drama utterly works, it’s Reeve. When the character returns to his time, he’s terminally heartbroken. Reeve conveys this with such conviction, I found my cynicism backing down.

The actor is as passionately committed to the role as he once was to Superman.

Coming Soon on 4KUHD!
Brand New HDR/DV Master – From a 4K Scan of the 35mm Original Camera Negative!

Somewhere in Time (1980) Starring Christopher Reeve, Jane Seymour, Christopher Plummer, Teresa Wright, Bill Erwin, George Voskovec & William H. Macy – Shot by Isidore Mankofsky… pic.twitter.com/KhUKJHkvjB

— KL Studio Classics / Kino Cult (@KLStudioClassic) November 28, 2024

Seymour manages to make her character a bit more than a mere plot device, though there’s not enough of an explanation for the Machiavellian pact she shares with Plummer’s character.

That said, Plummer, playing a Rasputin/Salieri figure, can do so much with a look or simple inflection, his character is intimidating in the way he usually reserved for outright villains or whenever Captain Von Trapp was rounding up the children via whistle.

Plummer can be so intense by being utterly still (note how he also does this in the 1978 “The Silent Partner”) and speaks so coldly and condescendingly to Reeve, you can’t help but flinch.

The chemistry between Reeve and Seymour makes up for the puppy love dopiness of their romance. A lengthy sequence of their first date, complete with a rowboat and horse and carriage ride, plays like a parody of a similar montage from “The Naked Gun” (1988).

There are so many questions this raises when it’s over, like why does it take Elise so long to find Richard later on, how can one mentally only fixate on the past while time traveling (wouldn’t an ‘70’s song get stuck in Richard’s head at some point?)

Matheson’s depiction of Richards’ journey is a device to meditate on the pain of disconnecting from the past.

“Somewhere in Time” is about loss. Unlike the wish fulfillment fantasy of “Back to the Future” (1985), or even the espionage of “Tenet” (2020), the idea here is that if you’ve lost someone once, time travel will only allow one to experience that trauma twice.

Hence the phenomenon of “12 Monkeys” (1995), where we don’t realize how we’re facing destiny until it’s too late and impossible to go back.

Whereas the past/future contrast and wish-fulfillment fantasy of Nick Cassavetes’ “The Notebook” (2004) ultimately lead to the best possible happy ending that scenario can allow, Szwarc’s film concludes in a much heavier way.

I have never been to Mackinac Island, where the film mostly takes place, but I did call one of the hotel reps in 2012, when I was compiling data for a college thesis paper. I spoke to a friendly hotel authority who explained to me that the tourism the film created was still robust.

I also learned about I.N.S.I.T.E., an acronym for the International Network of Somewhere in Time Enthusiasts.

I’m now at an age where the aspects of “Somewhere in Time” that I used to find unintentionally funny truly get to me. I don’t stare endlessly at old portraits as Reeve’s character does, but I’m often taken aback by photos and keepsakes I encounter that transport me to a moment I’ll never get back.

I also find talking to my mother about it a different experience today. In fact, hearing her speak about the movie today actually makes me cry.

My mom will speak passionately about time gone by, losing herself in what Arthur C. Clarke once called “the mental mists of our minds.” She recalls with great emotion someone who hasn’t been alive for many decades.

I get it, as I’m now doing the same thing when I describe key figures of my past to my daughter, my wife or anyone who will listen. To remember someone long gone and recall affectionate details about them is a small way of keeping them alive.

That’s what “Somewhere in Time” is truly about.

The sad truths and rich emotions of the film have finally caught up with me. I guess it’s time to fill out an I.N.S.I.T.E. membership.

The post ‘Somewhere in Time’ – Hokey, Illogical and as Magical as Ever appeared first on Hollywood in Toto.

“Tales from the Darkside: The Movie” is noteworthy for turning 35 this year, being one of the best (if not the all-time greatest) horror anthology films and showcasing the best performance from the chameleon-like David Johansen, who we just lost last month.

Johansen’s career began with fronting The New York Dolls before becoming a mainstream success as Buster Poindexter, then a character actor in film and TV, and ultimately returning to music.

He was a true original.

A dynamic performer on stage and a truly magnetic character actor, Johnsen is probably best known as the cab driving Ghost of Christmas Past who blows smoke out of his ears in the yuletide Bill Murray vehicle, “Scrooged” (1988).

However, cinephiles willing to take a deeper dive into Johansen’s brief but colorful movie run should note how great he is in “Tales from the Darkside,” an underestimated sleeper and a real find for horror fans.

Director John Harrison’s film is tonally perfect from the start, opening in a small town where Betty, an attractive socialite (Deborah Harry) is returning home. She gives everyone she encounters on the drive home a friendly wave.

Once we see her behind closed doors we see what’s really up: within Betty’s sprawling kitchen is a prison cell, where she keeps a young boy named Timmy (Matthew Lawrence) hostage.

After days of fattening Timmy up with cookies, Betty is planning to cook him. Timmy delays his execution by reading Betty stories from the massive tome bearing the name, “Tales from the Darkside,” which she tossed in his cell as a means of killing time.

Timmy reads Betty three stories:

The first is “Lot 249” (updated but faithfully based on an Arthur Conan Doyle tale), about a college student (Steve Buscemi) who is able to reanimate a mummy in order to do some dirty deeds.

The second tale is Stephen King’s “The Cat from Hell,” in which Johansen plays a hitman hired to exterminate the cat of a wealthy geriatric (William Hickey), who believes his feline is evil. The old man’s instructions to the hitman: “Kill it, bury it, bring me its tail, so I can throw it in the fire and watch it burn.”

The third yarn is “Lover’s Vow” (from “Beetlejuice” screenwriter Michael McDowell) about a struggling artist (James Remar) who meets the love of his life (Rae Dawn Chong) on the same night that he makes a crucial promise to a terrifying creature.

With every tale he spins for Betty, Timmy entrances his captor. Is it enough to keep her from cooking him?

RELATED: TERROR IN THE AISLES PERFECTLY CAPTURES 80s HORROR

What is the film’s point of origin? It’s complicated, but here’s the brief version: EC Comics, once touted as “Educational Comics” when everyone knew them to publish shocking, boundary-pushing and fiendishly funny comic book tales, used to publish “Tales from the Crypt,” Weird Science” and “Vault of Horror” comic books.

These controversial and groundbreaking comic books inspired “Night of the Living Dead” director George A. Romero to make “Creepshow” (1981), his loving, passionately stylish tribute to EC Comics.

“Creepshow” was a sleeper hit, and Romero wanted to do it as a TV series – because of rights issues, he was unable to use the “Creepshow” name. Thus, the rechristened “Tales from the Darkside” aired in 1983 and ran for four seasons.

Romero was an executive producer on the “Tales from the Darkside” series and the feature film.

Eventually, the similarly formatted “Monsters” followed (1988-1991), as well as the 2019 “Creepshow” series on Shudder, going on four seasons and the official, albeit belated, extension of Romero’s film.

Today, there are ample streaming channels airing dozens of horror-themed series. In the 1980s-1990s, though, it was a shock to see the likes of “Tales from the Darkside,” “Darkroom,” “Freddy’s Nightmares,” “Monsters” and “Friday the 13th: The Series” on regular TV. Their low budgets and reasonable PG-rated content were countered by genuine scares.

I’d argue that the most jolt-inducing of the bunch was “Tales from the Darkside,” with its sinister theme music (by Donald Rubinstein and Erica Lindsey) pulling you in.

I used to watch the series at midnight, after “Saturday Night Live,” and would sometimes find the theme music too scary to keep watching. On other nights, when I’d see an entire episode, I’d be too afraid to go back to sleep.

As a young teen, the only thing scarier than watching “Tales from the Darkside” at midnight, with all the lights in the house turned off, was seeing the trailer for “Tales from the Darkside – The Movie.” It remains one of the only coming attractions previews to make me jump out of my seat.

Harrison’s delightful, devious film may not have the groundbreaker status of “Dead of Night” (1945), nor the ongoing cult popularity of Romero’s “Creepshow” or Michael Dougherty’s “Trick r Treat” (2007), nor the all-star lineup of the infamous but almost-great “Twilight Zone – The Movie (1983).

However, because it moves so briskly, doesn’t overstay its welcome and hits us with just three tales, “Tales from the Darkside: The Movie” succeeds for giving us maximum entertainment value in 93 minutes.

“Lot 249,” which features not only a young, already scene-stealing Buscemi but also a good Christian Slater and, in a memorable film debut, Julianne Moore. The future Oscar winner already comes across like a major movie star (despite the indignity of her final scene, though it’s a memorable bit).

Moore and Buscemi give sharp turns and the final image (which mirrors the conclusion of the “Something to Tide You Over” segment of “Creepshow”) is a keeper, though the setup is overly complicated. Like the mummy itself, “Lot 249” is clumsy but always amusing. I love how the mummy is a victim of circumstances since his ability to kill is imposed on him.

Who knew one could weaponize a mummy?

“The Cat from Hell” installment is so good, the movie should have concluded with it. The make-up effects by KNB EFX are especially gag-inducing here. Johansen, cast against type as a slick killer for hire, does a great slow burn and has a solid give-and-take with Hickey, a wonderful actor with a voice as distinct as Johansen’s.

“The Cat from Hell” is the most stylish of the episodes, with clever, theatrical lighting designs, color schemes and clever “cat vision” POV shots. By the time the cat slashes the crotch of Johansen’s pants, we know he’s been outmatched by the feline.

The fade out on this segment is hilarious and absolutely disgusting.

“Lover’s Vow” is a good vehicle for Remar and Chong and gets the period setting right (note that there’s a poster for “Star Trek – The Motion Picture” in the 1979-based opening act). Anyone who fondly remembers Masaki Kobayashi’s “Kwaidan” (1965) will be a step ahead of this story, an adaptation of “The Woman in the Snow.”

Harrison’s film and Kobayashi’s masterpiece would make a killer double feature. “Lover’s Vow” fades to the final confrontation between Timmy and Betty, in an appropriately nasty conclusion that couldn’t be more satisfying.

While “Creepshow” is the more well-known anthology film, I prefer Harrison’s approach to conveying horror comics as cinema, versus Romero’s work on “Creepshow,” which is clever but busy and on-the-nose. To be fair, “Creepshow” is about horror comic book storytelling, whereas Harrison’s film is about books and storytelling as a literal means of escape.

Harrison himself gives the film a good score, with each segment having its own theme (a similarly winning touch utilized by Jerry Goldsmith in his score for “Twilight Zone – The Movie”). Of the three segments, only “Lover’s Vow” is slightly overlong. Reportedly, the three segments used to be reversed, with “The Cat From Hell” always the middle story, while “Lover’s Vow” used to be first and “Lot 249” was once the closer.

The final line-up is perfect, though “The Cat from Hell” is the main attraction here, as is Johansen’s performance. If you’re a fan of Buster Poindexter, Blondie, Stephen King and cats, you’re gonna love this one.

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This isn’t your grandfather’s “Snow White.”

Savvy souls understand that going into Disney’s live-action take on its 1937 animated film. Judged on its own merits, the new “Snow White” delivers in ways live-action cash grabs films often don’t.

It can stand on its own, boasts strong performances and doesn’t bludgeon you with woke.

Yes, Rachel Zegler’s heroine is empowered in ways that are thoroughly modern, and Team Disney tweaked other factors to make it less “problematic.” Zegler’s performance still feels rooted in our storytelling past.

That matters. So does this “Snow White.”

Zegler’s Snow White, like the classic film, has a somber backstory. She grew up the child of a kind Queen and King (that order isn’t accidental on-screen). Her mother died when she was just a girl, and her father disappeared years later after remarrying a woman with less than noble intentions.

Yes, that’s Gal Gadot as the Evil Queen. The King, apparently, isn’t a great judge of women.

Snow White grows up under the Queen’s punishing glare, resigned to a life of misery. That changes when the Evil Queen’s talking mirror – unavailable even at Amazon.com – tells her she’s no longer the fairest of them all.

That honor goes to the now-adult Snow White, driving the Evil Queen to the brink of madness. She casts Snow White out of the castle, sparking an adventure that includes a noble warrior, seven CGI dwarves and a forest full of adorable critters.

Said warrior is Jonathan, played by Andrew Burnap. He’s not a prince, thank you very much, but a Robin Hood-esque figure warring with the Evil Queen.

The film feels uncertain about their love connection, torn between a feminist ache to eschew men (ick!) and fidelity to the source material. Jonathan’s presence is critical to the story, but “Snow White” keeps pushing him to the side.

This is her story, by golly, and no cisgender man will get in the way. Even his heroic, third-act escape is edited to lessen the achievement.

Offensive? Updated? Your mileage will vary. Just know that “Snow White” is shrewdly assembled, rarely dull and avoids most narrative clutter.

Most.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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The screenplay is credited to Erin Cressida Wilson but she apparently had help. The dialogue isn’t whipsmart, and a few exchanges sound suspiciously like 21st-century banter, but it’s sweet when required and never insulting.

That’s a rave given the sorry state of screenwriting at the blockbuster level.

Director Mark Webb (“The Amazing Spider-Man” saga) had all that Disney cash to create a realm to keep our senses satiated. The film reeks of CGI splendor, but it’s rarely overpowering. Even the woodland creatures, who often do our heroine’s bidding, aren’t force fed to us.

Live-action tales typically drown viewers in ones and zeroes. Webb keeps them under control in “Snow White,” and we’re the better for it.

The film is mostly faithful to the original story up until the third act. That’s when The Zegler Effect takes over. Girlbossery ensues, yet it’s organic to the narrative up until that point.

Purists will revolt, and understandably so, but “Snow White” lacks the clunky mechanics of some woke films. There are no lectures about a woman’s place in society, no screenplay nods to fourth-wave feminism. Snow White is fulfilling her destiny in the only way she knows how.

Let’s not forget “Snow White” is a musical, cribbing classic “Dwarf” ditties like “Heigh-Ho” with several new tunes including the effective “Waiting on a Wish.” Zegler’s voice is wonderful, as is her attention to detail. She’s dialed in without appearing to break a sweat.

“Snow White” doesn’t buckle under the scars of its pre-release woes, including the addition of CGI dwarves. The latter are fine, but given the live-action nature of the story, a merry band of actual little people would have been better.

The “magical creatures” teased in that pre-release production still appear, but they’re integrated into the story. They still add little and, occasionally, hold the story back. And why is one of those “creatures” a little person actor when Disney refused to hire other little people to play the dwarves? 

Weird!

“Snow White” features a moment or two that might scare little children, but its morally pure heroine delivers on the story’s ageless appeal.

That’s what family-friendly audiences still crave in the modern marketplace.

HiT or Miss: Yes, “Snow White” gives the classic tale a feminist spin, but sturdy storytelling and an on-point Rachel Zegler charm us anew.

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