“How to Rob a Bank” might be the most morally irresponsible mainstream movie in a generation.
Sure, “How to Blow Up a Pipeline” extolled eco-terrorism, but few people saw it. And while “One Battle After Another” glorified violent radicals, it didn’t recruit Joe and Jane Sixpack into the fray.
“Bank” does just that. And more.
Naturally, any film with such an immoral center must lecture, not entertain. To director David Leitch’s modest credit, it’s the most engaging TEDtalk possible, the very faintest of praise. Still, when you’re standing at the lecturn, basic storytelling mores get tossed out.
That’s exactly what happens in this bloated but slick propaganda piece.
A bleach-blonde Nicholas Hoult plays Ryan, head of a social media savvy gang of, you guessed it, bank robbers. He hides under a wolf mask, asking if his massive following is “hungry” for revolution.
Against what? Big banks for crippling the little guy. Big Medical, which squeezes citizens for every penny. Wait, didn’t ObamaCare fix that? But we digress.
We’re tolk bank robbers have a nine in 10 chance of getting away with the gig, and Ryan and his team will teach you how.
Literally.
“How to Rob a Bank” offers advice on the best ways to knock over banks, how to stall police investigations and more. This isn’t storytelling, it’s a cinematic equivalent of a bomb-making kit.
They’re funny, silly but pack a serious message. Society is broken. Grab what you can. Ryan’s team does just that, posts the heavily edited results on social media and, we’re repeatedly told, give back to the less fortunate.
Awwwww.
And if they have to spray the streets with bullets along the way, so be it!
FBI Special Agent John West (John C. Reilly) takes their thieving personaly. He’s kind and dedicated, but the screenplay by Mark Bianculli doesn’t allow him, or any other character, a chance to defend western civilization.
When pressed, West comes up with a tepid, both-sides anecdote which makes him look even more pathetic.
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Agent West could use a hand, since beefing up security at most banks is apparently not an option (the Pittsburgh setting is as cobalt blue as most municipalities, to be fair).
So he lets a hacker under house arrest (that’s Zoe Kravitz as Reagan – get it? Reagan!) off the hook if she’ll use her tech savvy to bring down those wolves.
Kravitz looks alternately bored and wild eyed, and given the depth of her one-note character she’s more than forgiven.
Can this rag-tag crew stay one step ahead of Johnny Law? Will Ryan and co. inspire a new generation of acolytes who never, ever misuse their power and break all but one pane of glass from start to finish?
There’s nothing wrong with depicting characters who get railroaded by the system or loathe how the Haves have so much more than the Have Nots. That’s fertile storytelling ground, no matter one’s ideology.
Making these wolves so pure of heart without hinting at the consequences of their actions (or advice) is a different matter. So is sprinkling far-Left talking points throughout the film without challenging them or glossing over the big picture.
That’s just bad storytelling.
A crew of bank robbers pull off a heist during the “How to Rob a Bank” premiere in New York. https://t.co/xCliyYGjuH
— Variety (@Variety) November 11, 2026
The toxic screenplay wouldn’t spare a syllable about corrupt politicians, rampant government fraud or other real-world issues that impact the themes in play.
No, this is Eat the Rich: The Movie, performed by millionaire actors.
The movie desperately tries not to make police officers the enemy, but Reagan’s dialogue (and her BLM sticker) scream otherwise. They’re just dupes like us, caught in a broken system.
How condescending and convenient.
So, what’s the better system? Socialism? Ben Shapiro just made a movie about that, and it doesn’t end well.
“Bank” goes on way too long, switching from a giddy, light-hearted action caper into a serious, life-or-death struggle mid-film. The transition is jarring and unnecessary.
Maybe don’t lionize bank robbers from the jump?
In between, the filmmakers teach audiences how to thwart police investigations. It’s one of many lectures in the story, including a fourth-wall break near the end that doubles as a warning.
Do as we say, or there will be blood. Literally.
Do you get the morally irresponsible angle yet? And that’s before the characters walks us through the best way to actually rob a bank and not get caught.
Leitch (“Bullet Train,” “The Fall Guy”) is at his best choreographing slick action beats, and some of the chases here connect as intended. The story still leaves massive plot holes that becoming increasingly hard to swallow.
And, like too many modern movies, it doesn’t know when to end. That two-hour running time feels a good 15 minutes longer.
And we haven’t gotten to the most chilling element of the film. Christian Slater gets a small but pivotal role as a bank executive, the personification of greed and corruption. Cue the Luigi Mangione parallels, all ladled out with zero moral handwringing.
Storytellers can make whatever films they wish. No one should stop them, and the marketplace will have the final say.
Still, you’d think a filmmaking team would think long and hard about extolling violence like “How to Rob a Bank” does at great length.
That’s a creative choice, one with a morally repellent underbelly.
HiT or Miss: 1 out of 5 stars
Genre: Satire/action/comedy
Runtime: 2 hours, 2 minutes
Where to Watch: In Theaters Nov. 13
Family Friendly? R (Sexual situations, adult language, gore, blood and mature themes)
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